I Survived 2019 (just about!)

Hello you lovely lot,

I hope that you all had a good Christmas? I know that Christmas isn’t always a fun time when you are alone, or have lost someone, or are battling an illness, so sending extra squishy hugs to those that need one.

My life has been very hectic since October. Went to Philadelphia, had the flu (which is still hanging on in there) Went up to Macclesfield and stayed for a while to help my Mum, who has been ill for some time… came home, went back.

I did get some chill time in between thankfully, as I was totally exhausted!

This year has been a mixed bag of emotions and feelings… and illness.. I have become a little bit introverted and isolated… never really knowing what the next day would bring.

My mental health has suffered a lot and so has the Hubs. He is under an enormous strain of dealing with his own illness (COPD) taking care of our family and working full time.

Anyone who ‘cares’ for someone else is just simply amazing… but it hasn’t been all doom and gloom. I have spoken about how ‘living with an incurable illness’ affects our day to day life. This report will go to the NHS to help set guidelines in the future.

I have done some filming, some for Fight Bladder Cancer and some for Dying in Dignity. I have nearly finished my book. And I have so many ideas for this next year.

Christmas was truly wonderful, never did I imagine that, three and a half years ago, would I be celebrating with my Son and his partner and my gorgeous grandsons.

We laughed, we played monopoly and dobble, we watched TV and ate far too much (just like everyone else). We made plans for 2020, which involves eating far less. We celebrated birthdays with vigor and smiles.

We laughed and celebrated with our ‘extended family’ Thank you Martin & Fi for having us and sorry I fainted 🤣 who knew that coughing could make you faint?!?

I’m not one for the usual New Year, New me, rubbish, however I really intend to step it up this year.

Far too often we take those who we love for granted, I’m guilty of that! That doesn’t make me a bad person, I’m just going to try harder from now on.

My health has been Sh#t this year, really, really shit and at times I have felt so sorry for myself, I guess I need to stop that and really live for each day, however hard that seems.

I am so thankful and fortunate to have amazing, wonderful people in my life who make me laugh when I really don’t feel I can, who care for me even when I am a TCB (tetchy cow-bag)

I have people around me who know that when I cancel plans that it isn’t personal…. and I don’t have to explain.

My grandchildren, all three of them, are wonderful and bring a smile to my face, every day. These little people are our future ❤️

I am so so thankful that I am still here. I know I keep going on about it but I am the luckiest woman alive right now….

Love & Hugs, always

Anita xx