It’s 7.20am and I have been awake half the night. The sleeping pills did not help! I guess that happens when your mind is whirling!
Yesterday started off as a great day. I baked a banana & caramel loaf, which was super delicious and tried to make soft rolls in the slow cooker! (Failed, mine were rock hard and burnt!) it was an ordinary day!
Just to fill you in…
last week, I called for my 6 monthly Pet Scan which was a little earlier than I had expected but after two messages I decided to call them. Lucky for me they have an appointment the very next day so I bit the bullet and went for it.
I have been incredibly luckily and am still alive and fairly ok since I had my RC in August 2017. I have been NED (no evidence of disease) since then too!
Until yesterday!! Yesterday was results day!
So…. something has been found in my pelvic area. They want to do a pelvic MRI as soon as possible to see what we are dealing with!
We were not expecting this at all! In fact so much so that Tim nearly missed the call as he was sorting out the garage. I thought the conversation would go like this:
Dr S: Hi, how are you?
Me: Hi, am good, usual pains in legs, etc plodding on…
Dr S: oh pet scan is good..
Me: oh fabulous… then continues to waffle on…
This time he asked me lots of questions about my health. (This was suspicious) I forgot to tell him about the sepsis (been there, done that) he then said “shall I just read the PET scan report?”
I swear my whole body went cold! I looked at Tim, who was looking incredibly concerned! I handled it well and going down the “matter of fact” road. “Well, we knew some day we would have this conversation. Ok let’s see what the mri says” trying hard to speak normally and not squeak.
We came off the phone, utterly stunned and shocked!
It’s like being back at the beginning again but this time we know what’s ahead of us. This time we have the knowledge and understanding to deal with it. If it is back!
I can’t begin how to tell you how we are feeling right now. One minute calm as anything, the next our minds wander off, thinking the worst! Then, being positive for a while and then being unable to think of anything but flippin cancer again!
So that’s my news…. a little bit shit… but you know me… I can’t be ill this year, I have many projects on the go such as becoming a Patient Leader for Fight Bladder Cancer. I have awareness campaigns to sort out. I have writing to do and of course, all of this as well as being the Best Nana to my Grandchildren.
Anyways… life continues, the world is still turning and I am ok!
Love & hugs, always